cro magnons doing illegal substances

There, stopped at a traffic light, sat an industrial grade concrete truck. It churned the water and the cement powder to a rather sticky icky consistency. Just like the motion of a rock tumbler belonging to a second grader, it mixed a substance that would build the great shiny sidewalks of the future. But what was unusual about this concrete truck, is the logo that was painted on the side that turned and whirled was DARE to keep kids off of drugs.

I was not privvy to graduate from the illustrious sixth grade program that teaches kiddos through role playing that drugs are wack. It’s kind of complicated why I did not get an icing rose on the DARE cake on that day in elementary school. Won’t go there.

To be brief, I remember no lessons or any tools from my anti-drug education. I will surmise that other chillun of the 90s have similar experiences. As this logo tormented and taunted me at the stoplight, I began a long journey of reflection and trying to find zen about drugs. It lasted about 10 seconds or the length of the light. I think that the efficacy of DARE is wonky at best. What on earth would get kids to put those crack pipes down?

I almost forgot about this spiritual awakening. But then! I read that 8.4% of Americans have used an illicit drug in the last month. Economy or the forthcoming gay revolution got ya turning to drugs?

So my bretheren of Americans, how are we going to teach the children, the trustees of Mother Earth, that drugs are a don’t? And then I had a vision.

Instead of spending tax payers money (actually funding was revoked) on workbooks and t-shirts and police officers to be the mentors of the anti drug establishment, let’s talk real case studies. Science is boring! Side effects – shmide effects! Why not ostracize well know drug users? Isn’t it enough to make examples out of people? Show children some reverse role models. Who wants to end up busted and washed up like jail bird Lohan? It is self evident that Casey Anthony was not partying sober.

The greater verities of life indeliby come out in the child sleepover game of Truth or Dare. Dare implies doing something risky like getting a wet willy. Everyone knows that most dares go undone, just like daring someone not to drugs. LAME. I can’t even begin to think of a worse dare. The problem is that everyone from Celebrity enthusiasts to suburban moths flying around a porch light dabble in drugs.

But truth, that is wherein lies the hope and opportunity. The truth is that drugs aren’t going to make you a really contributive member of society. The truth is that legal fees are expensive. 81% of crimes involve drugs. Spending jail overnight isn’t that funny. And the people that you are drugging with aren’t exactly going to have shoulders for you to cry on. No one ever considers drugs a good use of their college tuition money or budgeted portion of income dedicated to the grocery store. Doing crystal meth will not get you a job unless you are in the prostitution sector. Weed is not going to motivate you to start a Fortune 500 company. There are safer ways to lose weight and keep it off other than snorting up cocaine. If you huff spray paint, you exhibit some cro magnon-like qualities, so go for it. Natural selection at its best.

I hope my cement truck of drug prevention was not a drug laundering business coverup. But how clever would that be for a business front for a drug cartel! All I’m trying to say is that drugs really do eff up people’s lives. How can you convey this messages to the ninas and ninos of this country and get them working on better hobbies? I think that if we all hold hands around this great country of ours, put our heads together, we can come up with something a little savvier than daring someone not to drugs.

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