Buying a boyfriend is so worth it when they tromp out in the woods, armed with only a chain saw, and return with a freshly cut tree smelling of air freshners shaped like pines. My new tree is fit for a wood nymph princess.
In an effort to appease Santa Claws and his pack of well behaved deer, the new tree is bathed in the glory of holiday light. I’m hoping that nordic/viking revival clothing and footwear will be under it comes Christmas morning, in nicely wrapped packages. I’ve become very snobby about wrapping paper and I do not like cartoonish Santas. Meep.
Last year I donned my best beret and interpreted what it means to be an artsy pink flurry fluff XMAS tree. If you can make out any of this cluster – it is an aspen branch with painted leaves of tissue paper, roses, ribbon, jewreeee, and icicle ornaments. It was a lot a bit crooked. Please note that I was not very nice last year. No gifts under that arboreal affliction.
In summation and the spirit of Jesus Christ’s birth, let us choose Christmas miracles, instead of Christmas death wishes. Attitude is everything. The holidays make lots of people want to swim around bottles of vodka and Xanax. Please do not run out into icy streets. Or not screw in your tree all the way and wait for that fatal TIMBER. The joy and cheer of the season is at your fingertips. Not in the bottom of the punch bowl of egg nog.
Post Script – My new tree has not reached its ultimate vision yet. Please don’t fret. I’ll post pics when I’m done with tree II.