Coyote Ugly syndrome has gotten to women – short and tall, White and Latina, sweet and saucy, grandmas and toddlers in tiaras. The definition of Coyote Ugly Syndrome can be described as the complete loss of inhibition and a magnetic attraction to dance atop a bar, or in some cases a stripper pole. This syndrome is induced usually by alcohol, but is not limited to consumption of too many Michelob Ultras.
Last night I ventured into that seedy place called Kochevar’s, a local watering hole. It was fun until they played Death Metal. But before the screams and strokes of bass guitar, the proprietor let loose. Channeling her inner Shania Twain, she was drawn like a zombie to human blood to the top of the bar. She shook her fringed leather jacket, kicked up her cowboy boots, and hip thrusted her way down the bar.
The only time women want to make new friends is when they decide to dance on the bar. Then they couldn’t be happier to see you. Won’t leave you alone. And try to egg you on to dance as well.
No, I do not want shake my tail feather in an elevated scenario for all to see and judge. Plus there are a lot of potential dangers. Miss Fringed Jacket bumped her head several times on lights. Not to mention, if you fall embarrassment will follow. If you don’t fall, embarrassment with follow as you remember the events of the night prior.
In conclusion, coyotes in the wild are pesky. Their behavior carries over to the club.
P.S. it is pronounce KY – OTE in this particular usage. Enjoy my watercolors.