the sickening scent of sea breezes

Get me off this banana boat.

Management has made my daily life uncomfortable. They chose an offensive air freshner for the bathroom. It smells like those deplorable tropical Skittles or Starbursts – those off the cuff brand extensions. I am a candy connoisseur, ask anyone, and these flavors are terrible. Stick to the originals. I’m sure the only people tasting the rainbow of Wild Berry and Tropical Skittles are pre-pubescents that lack a delicate palate. As I was saying – the bathroom smells like nauseation, quickening the time spent in the powder room.

I first thought the scent to be a misfortunate smelling clean whizzer disinfectant. Then I noticed a large-and-in-charge-commercial-grade freshner of air. It pulses chemical warfare on those just trying to catch a break on the pot.

With all the expert parfumiers out there (Tay Tay Swift, Marc Anthony, Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden) it is so unfair to besiege innocents with such unpleasing whiffs. A 7/11 bathroom smells rosier. In summation, I’ve always lived by this maxim in regards to public bathrooms, keep it simple. Keep it clean.

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