back to school

I am yet to make the primordial back to school shopping trip. There is no new beret or cape in my wardrobe.

Tomorrow, I will fail to make a good impression with my classmates because my clothes are not of the new variety. And the unfortunate truth is that we only get one chance to make a first impression, just one. My posture will undoubtedly suffer without a new Jansport backpack or a 5 star notebook. One eye might bug out and I’ll look like Quasi modo. Hopefully I will remember to bring a writing utensil, because no one wants to let ‘Modo borrow a pencil.

It is funny doing college again. Back at my alma mater, the first day of school was about dressing to impress and strategically picking a seat.  I wanted to sit next to a hottie toddy that looked like they might be a contestant from my favorite game of yore, Dream Phone. This time I could care less what the 19 year old next to me looks like. As long as he doesn’t smell too strongly of cologne and refrains from asking to copy my homework, we will be AOK.

The most egregious of trespasses to me has always been when people ask to “borrow” or “take a peak” or “see if we got the same answers” on homework.

My answer is always bug off. Naw dawg. Mind your own.

And this is why – human beings are preoccupied with the concept of reciprocity. Back scratching, an eye for an eye, etc…….. You copying my problem set hardly does anything for me, except puts me at risk of getting in trouble with teach. So girl with the daily Egg McMuffins complete with offensive numbers of ketchup packets, and the worn fleece cupcake pajama pants, you serve no purpose to me.

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